Today I move into the second half of my 40 Days of Focus campaign… as I laid in the dentist chair this morning, while out mowing the lawn, tidying the house and cleaning toilets, I’ve been reflecting on the experience… twenty days sure go by fast. What have I learned? What went well or not so well? Most importantly, where am I at today? What do I want the next 20 days to look like? Hmmm…
As I look back over my notes during preparation, a few things stand out to me. There were several revisions to the list, and looking back I am surprised that “committed to being my best and cultivating a heart of service” didn’t make it to the final cut. It should have. Perhaps I felt it was too vague. Really, though, this is infinitely more important than the “take 5 for fitness” gig. For the next twenty days, I’m making a swap on that one.
Similarly, I had at one point intended to make some sacrifices in the self-indulgence department. Funny how those didn’t make it on the final list either. These too I want to incorporate into the next 20 days. It’s funny that smashing the hell out of my finger became the excuse that rationalized my failure to follow through on the Take 5 element. It’s not that I haven’t been exercising, it’s just not been the intense HIIT style… a little more yogic in nature 🙂 … BUT, the real revelation in my late night meditation is how much of the intensity is ego based. Can you do 20 bridge pushups? Watch me! Ultimately this is not what my body needs to feel it’s best. My discipline would be better used in other ways, i.e., less pizza and beer and a more Ayurvedic approach to intake… hence the sacrifice.
Posting videos and podcasting have been an interesting experience. The learning curve has been steep and humbling at times. I hate putting out stuff that I feel like I could do better on, but that’s mostly just pride, and my commitment to losing the illusion of imperfection has been the highest priority. I feel I’ve done pretty well in that department, though I’m definitely ready to trim the beard, it will grow wild and free for another twenty days as a reminder to keeping looking inward. And along these lines, I’ve realized a certain resistance arising in my Daily Dose yoga video endeavor.
It’s not that I don’t want to share, I do and will continue to do so, it’s that it feels a little thin. Squeezing 20 minutes of yoga in is great, but in teaching these 20 minute sessions the focus is all on the physical, the asana. Fact is, this is the primary focus for a lot of practitioners, which is not a bad thing per se, it’s just that I know yoga has so much more to offer. My personal experience has been deeply enriched by many of the more subtle elements, stuff that really hasn’t come through in the Daily Dose. The more I reflect on this fact, the greater it feels like a disservice if I fail to share these experiences with others. So, over the next 20 days and beyond, I will be experimenting and exploring ways by which I can enrich my online yoga endeavors with a little more of the good stuff.
Finally, if I could sum up that last 20 days in a single word, it would be GRATITUDE. I am so very grateful for the friends and family that have supported my efforts during this launch. I have a deep appreciation for each and every person that has impacted my life and helped shaped this moment as it is right now. It would be impossible to express the full extent of my thankfulness to each and every person, but I have recently embarked on a Hundred Hearts Project in an effort to make thanks-giving a greater part of my life. Perhaps the Take 5 element should become: Take 5 deep breaths and pause to appreciate the little things and the special people that make my life so wonderful.
Stop for a second… I wonder: What warms your heart? Is it a special someone? The smell of a latte? Is it the comfy shirt or the cozy couch? Find that thought that makes you smile and sit with it awhile… it feels good.
Now it’s time to make spaghetti… and I’ll do it with a song in my heart!